Sometimes

You wait for years for someone to say somthing.
I know I did.
And then I realised after he said it, I didnt need to hear it anymore.

.

In fact I didnt even want to hear it.

The bitter-sweet victory in fact became more of the former then the latter and the day I always thought I would handle with good grace, slipped by in fumbled words and misunderstandings.

Given the choice, I would rather forget then forgive.

Apoligise lose meening when attached to events long since past. The wounds have healed over, badly and painfuly.

.
Perhaps such sentiments were mearly offered to help heal his eagerly and quickly forgotten battle scars.

The words simply poking and aggravating mine.

Is it love that does this?

Residual feelings that make me prefer him to ignore my existance then acknowledge it?

.

Or is it shame, that someone
once hurt me enough
for it to pain me to remember?

Perhaps you wake up one morning and realise its all gone.
The love, the hurt, the memories.
You forget why you cared so much.

You look at the person next to you and think
"all this brought me here"


.

But I wish I could have got here without it.