Sunday, 14 November 2010

10 things which make being single better then being something else.

Relationships aye? Bit of a tricky thing those ones. So we all go through phases of being in them and not being in them and being in them but not wanting to be in them or being not in them and wanting to be in one. Ah love, you are a many splendored thing.

For example when you are in a relationship you get to do all sorts of great things, like going out to eat together or taking photos of yourselves looking in love (and uploading them onto social networking sites so others can be jealous) or watching films about love and thinking how lucky you are not to be alone or spending hours just staring into each others eyes or taking lovely sunset walks and throwing stones at the single people.

However for those of us who are currently not enjoying the many splendors love has to offer (but are instead feasting from the cornucopia of single person living) get to spend our time eating (alone), drinking (alone), feeding stray animals in attempts to not be alone and hiding below ground during day light hours so as to avoid the stones thrown by couples.


There are, of course, innumerous wonderful things about being "single". However I like a challenge so I went ahead and attempted to make a top 10....

1. Bed Clothes....I'm a hogger. Fact. And an unapologetic one at that. I'm half your weight, just pull the duvet back or man up.

2. No one to disprove it when I lie about why I am late for something.
Yes I am always late.
Yes I always have a excuse.
No there is no one to witness the freak hurricane which ripped through my flat and made me lose 40 minutes.

3: Watching really terrible shows: Yes ANTM, yes Glee, yes Jersey Shore, yes yes, yes.

4: High heels, as high as I like and no Napoleon complex to deal with.

5: Man flu. Nuff said.

6: Talking to myself is now truly to myself and no one can complain that I have been singing an off key version of "Total eclipse of the heart" for the past 4 days.

7: Wearing layers of the brightest lipstick known to mankind.

8: White girl dancing. Ok I did this when I wasn't single also but I find it more rewarding now.

9: Wandering around my house dressed like a "Grey Gardens" refugee.

10:The less people around you have around you, the less chance there is of one of them being a CIA planted killer robot.
That's just sound logic.


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